A sheep, a werewolf and a walrus walk into a bar.

Full Version: Bogus Bans
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Butty banned for splitting hairs and infinitives but not marriages, thankfully.
NNA banned for being all ad infinitum.
Wichita banned for thinking that Latin is a townland in either Cavan or Leitrim.
NNA banned for telling me that copper wire was discovered when two cavan men were fighting over a penny. Rolleyes
Butty banned for driving many miles to Cavan in the middle of the night purely so that he could pick a few blackberries and then drive home without paying for them.
NNA banned for buying berries on the black market.
Wichita banned for making jam when the sun shines and making hay when it's cold and wet.
NNA banned for going into business making and selling snozzberry jam, and then getting sued and bankrupted byWilly Wonka.
Butty banned for refusing to swap his Golden Wonka Ticket for my Euromillions winning ticket.
NNA banned for forging a Golden Wonka ticket when Butty wouldnt surrender his.
Wichita banned for flying the wonkavator into the Dail on the  way home from the pub last night.
Butty banned for always forgetting to get the Wonkavator booked in for its NCT.
NNA banned for not understanding: the crash was caused by too many VATs not NCT.
Butty banned for liking an excessively rich diet- he puts his money where his mouth is, apparently.
NNA banned for confiscating all Butty's chocolate coins.
Wichita banned because they can take my chocolate but they'll never take my freedom!
Butty banned for having a braveheart moment.
Wichita banned for talking about fight club.
Butty banned for always bringing his hurley stick whenever he was invited to go clubbing by his friends (an unfortunate misunderstanding on his part of the type of clubbing planned)
NNA banned for for some nasty off the ball shennanigans.
Butty banned for pucking the sliotar away.
Wichita banned for slitting the sliotar.
NNA banned for confiscating my penknife.
Wichita banned for secretly writing to Santa just last night requesting a shiny new bayonet to replace his confiscated penknife.
NNA banned for interfering with my mail.
Wichita banned for trying to get away with underpaying the postage cost.
NNA banned for stamping on my post.
Wichita banned for having a 'brown envelope' fetish.
NNA banned for not covering his envelopes in gravy.
Wichita banned for pouring 'Bisto' into a wine glass and slurping it through a straw.
NNA banned for not clutching hard enough at straws.
Wichita banned for wearing out my clutch which is the last straw.
Butty banned for believing that if you turn a straw around the opposite way that you get warts.
NNA banned for thinking the song went 'Wart! What is it good for?'
Butty banned for singing the warthog song.
Wichita banned for signing his name on a warthog.
Declan banned for naming his pet cat 'Warthog'
Wichita banned for letting Warthog out of the bag.
Butty banned for leaving a warthog in the bagging area at tesco.
Wichita banned for failing to see that I was bartering: that warthog was payment for the groceries.