22-02-2022, 11:53 AM
@E.N.
I have that rule because it was an issue for me rearing my own children. My mother-in-law wasn't as bad as my own mother but they both had that thing that they treated anything I said as "nonsense" or being a cause to roll their eyes. "I did the opposite to that and my children were fine" was something I heard a lot. It caused me major issues for the first few years of parenting until I just decided to agree with them and did what I wanted anyway rather than cause a row. I would imagine your in-laws see your partner's children as almost being an extension of their parenting. I know my mother would have been much more interfering with her daughters' children than her sons'.
My grandchildren are not my children so I need to respect the decisions my children are making as parents. If I am asked for advice I give it but otherwise I stay quiet or just ask things like "have you tried x" and they can try that or not. I don't judge. After all who says I was always right? I never even claim that. I find it is working for us all as I know I am the preferred babysitter as they trust me to not undermine their rules or cause the children ever to say things like "Granny said that was ok so why can't I?" something I heard many times myself as a parent.
Anyways, smallies are coming in less than an hour so yaaaaaaay!
I have that rule because it was an issue for me rearing my own children. My mother-in-law wasn't as bad as my own mother but they both had that thing that they treated anything I said as "nonsense" or being a cause to roll their eyes. "I did the opposite to that and my children were fine" was something I heard a lot. It caused me major issues for the first few years of parenting until I just decided to agree with them and did what I wanted anyway rather than cause a row. I would imagine your in-laws see your partner's children as almost being an extension of their parenting. I know my mother would have been much more interfering with her daughters' children than her sons'.
My grandchildren are not my children so I need to respect the decisions my children are making as parents. If I am asked for advice I give it but otherwise I stay quiet or just ask things like "have you tried x" and they can try that or not. I don't judge. After all who says I was always right? I never even claim that. I find it is working for us all as I know I am the preferred babysitter as they trust me to not undermine their rules or cause the children ever to say things like "Granny said that was ok so why can't I?" something I heard many times myself as a parent.
Anyways, smallies are coming in less than an hour so yaaaaaaay!